Some more of Neighbor Bill

I have told you about Bill, my eccentric next door neighbor; the tale continues! Over the past few weeks notes and recipes and goodies have been going back and forth between our apartments. Well, the notes have come from Bill, and the goodies is what he gets in return! One day there was a bag of groceries, a recipe and instructions on how to replace the sugar with Splenda (absolutely against all I believe in, nutritionally as well as offending my cookie baking pride!). Someone, actually more than someONE, has asked me if he pays for all of this stuff? Absolutely, he is a kind-hearted and generous person. Whatever I bake for him gets around to some of the other neighbors.

Well, yesterday I took the day off work. On my door was a note with a recipe for pumpkin cake, but could I use Splenda instead of sugar and Smart Balance (another offense to my senses). I baked the cake and later heard his voice in the hallway as he was chatting with Darlene, the one he hits up for fudge. So I went out to take him his cake and there he is in all his splendor! Long bathrobe held in place by a leather belt, fuzzy OU slippers and an OU baseball cap stuck on his head. His livingroom was entirely OU in color and paraphernalia - definitely a man's domain (his wife passed away years ago and he can do what he wants with the decor!).I asked if he were an OU fan and he shot back "1952, geologist! And you?" Once he found out I wasn't an OU fan or graduate, I could see it took him a minute to recover his composure. (Neither fan nor graduate? Absurd - this is Oklahoma.)

He then turned his attention to the display one sees when first entering his apartment. Right smack dab in front of your eyes when the door is opened is an elaborate display of BMI (Body Mass Index) charts, two sets of scales, and a skeleton such as one would see in a doctor's office (with it's BMI taped to its skull). He then began to educate Darlene and me on the BMI and what ours should be, even getting us both on the scales. He played fairly; he got on the scales as well. He checked Darlene's weight, height and pronounced her a little under her preferred BMI and then looked at me and said, "You need to lose weight!" I laughed right out loud and every time I thought about him today, I laughed out loud again; I couldn't help it, it just bubbled up and out of me!

But that is not all.

Tonight I came home from work to find a bag hanging on my doorknob. Inside? A take out container with a slice of coconut cream pie from his favorite restaurant that he had been bragging about to me. With a note to "enjoy it!"

This from the same man who had lectured me on my BMI just yesterday. We need to talk...